Steps in the Right Direction

So, a few days ago I got yet another rejection notice from a lit mag.  However, this time it was different than usual.  Instead of the form rejection "thanks, but no thanks" thing, I got a personalized rejection.  The editors told me that although they "don't have a place" for my piece in this issue, they fould "much to like" in my work, and encourage me to submit again in the future.  Upon telling this news to some family and friends, I got responses like "Aw shucks, not again," and "maybe next time."  But then I had to tell them no, no, no, this is a good thing, a very good thing!  In fact, when I read the letter I proceeded to laugh and hop around my room like a caffeinated rabbit, I was so excited.  Yeah it's not an acceptance, but it's a "we like it, send more in the future" which is like a pre-acceptance, or something.  One more step on the road to publication, and after dozens of outright rejections--followed by second-guessing my abilities and whether I'm even in the right profession--this feels like a ray of light and a heavenly chorus.

Also, all my application materials got to Fairbanks (except 1 letter of recommendation...I'm not sure if it HAS gotten there and they haven't filed it in yet [which happened with the other two letters]) and my application is undergoing the reviewing process.  I'm extremely nervous but glad that at least something went right.  I just hope the lack of 1 letter by the 1st of February doesn't discount me for consideration for a TAship :-/.  I guess we'll just have to see.  I'm excited and nervous about the outcome of all this.  Even rejection is a concrete answer, and after finding  out about it I can then (somewhat) comfortably move on without waiting  around.  Although I really really really hope they accept me. (Crosses fingers)

I've also been getting  a ton of positive feedback about my work, from peers in the major and from my profs.  This is awesome since I'm a pretty self-defeating person by nature.  I almost never take what people say at face value: if someone says they like my work or they think it's great, I automatically think they're just humoring me.  But with the positive rejection and overwhelmingly positive feedback (accompanied by protests to my self-doubt of "yes, we really mean it") I'm starting to actually think I might be on the right path after all and not making a huge mistake.  It's a nice feeling, realizing that you might not be sabotaging your own life.

My novel for my independent study is coming along nicely and I'm really enjoying what's happening.  I spent the majority of tonight revising and editing shorter stories of my own and critiquing some submissions to the Chimes, our literary magazine here (of which I'm assistant editor).  I feel I've got pretty good momentum and drive.  Now let's see how long this lasts.