Cosmetic Touchups vs. Ground-up Construction

Today I didn't write anything new.  Instead, I spent my allotted hour touching up various small projects.  Tightening a poem here, adding more characterization to a story there...that sort of thing.  All in all about a dozen poems got facelifts and tummy tucks and a couple stories got a revitalizing spa treatment.  Although I didn't write anything new or expand on as-yet unfinished poems and stories, I feel pretty good about the revisions I did on already finished work.  It was like re-laying the mortar between the bricks in a flimsy wall, or stripping old paint off a house and applying a new coat.  It was fun and relaxing.

I also sent a batch of recently finished poems off to Bateau Press.  It was easy and enticing because they're one of the print journals that has adopted a snazzy online submissions manager.  I feel pretty confident that the five poems I sent are my best work so far and that they represent the widest range of my interest in poetic forms: a couple free-verse poems and a couple tightly structured poems, including my first sestina--which I wrote last year and to which I've been applying continuous poetical TLC.  I still haven't heard back from the Barn Owl Review yet (I sent a few poems over a month ago), and, honestly, I can't remember which poems I sent them.  All I know is that they're not the same ones as I sent to Bateau.  Not good, I know, which brings me to my next point.

In addition to my revisions, I also spent some time tidying up and organizing my computer files.  Before this, all my text files were sort of strewn haphazardly in random corners of the general My Documents file.  And as the essays, poems, and stories (and drafts) have piled up, the worse the clutter has gotten.  So I finally set up a system of folders within My Documents for easy and quick access to all my poetry and prose, creative and academic, along with a Submission Tracker document (which I'll update continually with Active, Rejected, and Accepted Poetry and Prose submissions) as well as folders specifically to keep Word documents that contain specially collected poems meant for submissions to certain journals, so I'll never forget what I sent where, and when I sent it, and whether it's still under review, has been accepted or rejected.  (I'm starting to accumulate a nice drift of poetry rejections.)

All in all I believe it's been a productive day, and these revisions and other considerations helped me to momentarily lower my constant stress level as the GRE date approaches as well as final project considerations, graduation requirements, and grad school apps.  I'm still torn about whether I should pursue an MFA in Poetry or Fiction.  I write Poetry on a more regular basis, but I'm still not at the level of understanding about it that I can say whether each poem is good or bad, and more often than not I'm not sure if a poem needs revision and much less HOW it should be revised.  On the other hand, I write prose less frequently; but when I do, I slave over it, revising draft after draft and picking it apart word by word until I think it's much better than before, and even then I still think it isn't that good.  I DO have lots more short story ideas, and I'm working on a novel this year for an Independent Study...I just need to get the motivation and creative juices flowing to write the stories.  I'm leaning heavily toward fiction despite my recent burst of poetry.

I'm also making myself accept the idea that I may not end up going to grad school as soon as I want.  Maybe my GRE scores won't be so good, or maybe my writing sample will still need some work, or maybe my undergrad transcripts won't be sent out in time (a flaw my school is notorious for).  I'm still not sure exactly what I'd do in this situation...I've always wanted to do the Peace Corps; maybe that would be a good thing to do if I don't get accepted to grad school.  Anyway, I guess I'll sleep on it...sleep always helps.  It's like my second drug of choice, number one being  coffee of course.  Good night everyone.